


it's not what it l00ks like

by theauthorish



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, never make bets with zhong chen le
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26997736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthorish/pseuds/theauthorish
Summary: Donghyuck whining high-pitched and loud as he gets pretend-beat-up by one or more of the dreamies is… not new. He’s done it a hundred times, on-camera and off.It isn’t new at all.What is new is that he and Renjun seem to have something going on between them, just going by the way Renjun freezes and goes cherry red once he realizes he’s somehow effectively straddled Donghyuck in his attempt at play-punching him (at least, Jaemin hopes it’s play-punching; they have a comeback soon, and Donghyuck can hardly promote if his jaw is bruised). Renjun’s eyes tellingly drop to Donghyuck’s mouth, pursed around a whimpered out apology, and his grip slackens on Donghyuck’s wrists.Donghyuck notices. He blinks. “Renjunnie?” he prods, cautious.Renjun has never done this before; he always finishes what he starts, and he’s never been shy about roughhousing with the others, least of all Donghyuck, who tends to rile him up on purpose.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 12
Kudos: 169





	it's not what it l00ks like

**Author's Note:**

> this is stupid. but it was So Fun to write.

The first time it happens isn’t actually the first time.

Confused? 

Let’s elaborate:

Donghyuck’s just a naturally annoying person. It’s something he’s honed to an art form, pissing people off, and somehow that’s extended to even _sounding_ annoying when being punished for whatever mischief he’s caused.

So Donghyuck whining high-pitched and loud as he gets pretend-beat-up by one or more of the dreamies is… not new. He’s done it a hundred times, on-camera and off.

It isn’t new at all.

What _is_ new is that he and Renjun seem to have something going on between them, just going by the way Renjun freezes and goes cherry red once he realizes he’s somehow effectively straddled Donghyuck in his attempt at play-punching him (at least, Jaemin hopes it’s play-punching; they have a comeback soon, and Donghyuck can hardly promote if his jaw is bruised). Renjun’s eyes tellingly drop to Donghyuck’s mouth, pursed around a whimpered out apology, and his grip slackens on Donghyuck’s wrists.

Donghyuck notices. He blinks. “Renjunnie?” he prods, cautious.

Renjun has never done this before; he always finishes what he starts, and he’s never been shy about roughhousing with the others, least of all Donghyuck, who tends to rile him up on purpose.

By now, the others are starting to take notice too, and Jaemin wonders if maybe he shouldn’t intervene; they’re supposed to be getting back to practice, the ten-minute break they gave themselves already drawing to a close. But at the same time, Jaemin has to admit, he’s intrigued.

Plus, Renjun is cute when he’s flustered.

Speaking of Renjun, he swallows now, harsh enough that even where he’s standing, Jaemin can see his throat bob. “I hate you,” he mutters, but it’s a paltry imitation of his previous anger.

Donghyuck’s brow furrows, confused, as Renjun releases him abruptly, shoving him away like he normally would, except, like, gentler, which means it’s not normal at all. 

In the end, Jeno just claps his hands together and calls for everyone to get back into position, and Jaemin watches Chenle and Jisung exchange a curious glance, before Chenle shrugs his shoulders, and Jisung mimics him, apparently deciding to forget the incident altogether.

Renjun takes two deep breaths and recenters himself, while Jaemin bumbles around until he remembers what spot he’s supposed to take in the new formation.

Donghyuck though… Jaemin catches his eye in the mirror, and there’s a glint in them, sharp and devious, willing to cut. He winks, and it’s gone; Jaemin blows a kiss right back, but he has the fleeting feeling of being sorry for whatever nonsense Donghyuck is going to put Renjun through.

/////

“So what’s your deal, _ge_?” asks Chenle, later as they lounge in the dorm’s living room. He switches to Mandarin for the next bit, so Jaemin doesn’t know what he’s saying, but he does catch Donghyuck’s name, so he assumes it’s about earlier.

“Shh!” hisses Renjun, which proves Jaemin right. “He might hear you! Do you really wanna sign my death warrant like that?”

Chenle rolls his eyes. “He isn’t even here, _ge_ , he went to get our food.” He’s speaking in Korean again, which strikes Jaemin as odd, considering Chenle is much more comfortable with Mandarin, especially around Renjun— until it hits him. It’s for his benefit. Renjun was practiced enough in both languages that he probably wouldn’t even notice (proven by his initial response in Korean) so…

Sneaky boy, that Chenle. Jaemin fights down a smirk and keeps his silence.

“Twenty minutes ago!” snaps Renjun. “They could be back any second!”

“Then hurry and answer? So you’ll be done before they get here.”

Renjun huffs and kicks at Chenle’s ankles. “Fuck off.”

“I could call him and—”

“Don’t you dare, Chenle, I swear to all the gods out there—”

“Yah,” butts in Jaemin, wrangling Renjun back into his seat. “Don’t strangle him, we need his voice.”

Renjun fixes him with a look of betrayal, but settles reluctantly against the sofa once more. “It’s nothing, all right?”

“You’re lying,” Chenle and Jaemin sing, in sync. They grin at each other and high-five, and Renjun looks a little now like his life force is slowly leaking out of him. He also looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here, and Jaemin figures, okay, fine, maybe they can give him a break.

“Hey,” he murmurs, nudging at Renjun’s knee. “You know we won’t judge you for anything, right? If you like him—”

“I don’t!” huffs Renjun, shoving at Chenle’s shoulders and kicking at Jaemin’s. “That is not what’s going on.”

“But something _is_ going on, huh, _ge_?”

Renjun glares at him for a long moment, and Chenle only beams, bright and adorable, until Renjun caves with a sigh, slumping forward to hold his head in his hands. “It’s just… the sounds he makes sometimes are so _indecent—_ I don’t know why I just realized—”

Chenle shrieks and smashes a pillow into Renjun’s face, hard enough that he jerks back, and Jaemin scrambles up to check on him, worried. “ _Chenle-yah!_ ” he reprimands, fluttering about a wincing Renjun. His glasses seem fine and unbroken at least, which was Jaemin’s main worry. “Chenle-yah,” he repeats softer, at Chenle’s wide-eyed stare. “You have to be careful with how much force you use, yeah? We know you didn’t mean it, but Renjun has his glasses on, you could seriously have hurt him.”

“I forgot,” Chenle admits, sheepishly. “I also didn’t mean to swing that hard, I promise.”

Renjun pats at Jaemin’s shoulder, then squeezes gently. He’s fine, he’s saying.

Reassured, Jaemin backs off. Then he wrinkles his nose. “I take it back, though. We’re judging you.”

“ _What_? You said—”

“I said we wouldn’t judge you if you liked him! I didn’t make any promises about you being horny for him. This is serious, huh?”

Chenle nods. “Gross, _ge_ . And _Donghyuck-hyung_?” His face screws up. “That’s kind of disgusting. And you did it right in the practice room—”

“Did— we didn’t do anything we haven’t done before!” yelps Renjun. “You say it like we fucked or something!”

“ _Have_ you?” Jaemin posits, unable to ignore his morbid curiosity. “Is that why you’re suddenly so affected? Like you said,” he points out. “You’ve done all the things you did earlier before, plenty of times. What changed that changed your reaction?”

“We— we _have not_ fucked, what the fuck?” Renjun splutters out, as Chenle starts screaming in horror again.

“Then what’s the problem? Why’d you get a boner over it?”

“I didn’t get a boner, Jaemin, I swear—”

“Um…”

The three of them whirl to face Jeno, standing in the doorway with his eyebrows raised, lips flickering as he attempts not to laugh at Renjun’s expense. Jaemin and Chenle don’t have the same courtesy, and burst out cackling. “Do I wanna know…?”

Renjun groans. “I hate you guys.”

/////

At some point after dinner, Renjun drags Donghyuck away, shoving him into his room and locking it behind them.

Jisung blinks after them. “Are they fighting or something? Is this about earlier?”

“I think they’re fucking,” says Chenle, faking a gag. “He says they’re not but he was _wayyyy_ too defensive about it. Right, Jaemin-hyung?”

“Yuck!” Jisung plugs his ears with his fingers and starts chanting, “Chenle’s an idiot, I’m not listening,” over and over until Chenle, in a fit of annoyance, shoves a chicken leg into his mouth to shut him up.

“They are not,” Jeno says, flatly. He raises an eyebrow. “Why would you think that?”

“Didn’t you see them earlier?” Jaemin demands, incredulous. “This is pretty serious. Renjunnie never gets that way.”

Jeno snorts. “Maybe you just haven’t seen him that way.”

“We literally live together, and also, have _you_ seen him that way?” Jaemin retorts.

“Not so far.”

“There you have it then.” Jaemin nods to himself. “We’ll probably—” He stops. Actually… “Hopefully we don’t ever find out, honestly.”

Chenle shudders. “Same.”

/////

For a while, nothing out of the ordinary happens, so they all forget about Renjun being weird, and the apparently very real possibility that two of their members are having some… fun… with each other.

And then one day, they’re having another dance practice (why is it always at practice? Granted, it’s only twice now, but still).

Jaemin— and the others, too, going by the disturbed expressions on their faces— could go without watching Donghyuck doing his best impression of a really bad porno, batting his lashes and pleading for mercy in his sweetest, breathiest voice—

As Renjun chokes him against the mirror. Because apparently it isn’t bad enough without that.

“Whoa, whoa,” Jaemin says, reaching to grab Renjun by the collar. “You’re in public, there are children, please keep things PG,” he chides. Thankfully, Renjun’s already dropped Donghyuck like a hot potato, so it isn’t too hard to drag him away.

Jaemin levels a preening Donghyuck with his most deadpan glare. “You,” he says. “Don’t cross the line, huh?”

“What am I doing?” Donghyuck asks, all false innocence that he’s got to know no one buys even for a second. “Renjun’s the one attacking me!”

“You provoked him though,” points out Jeno, diplomatic as always.

Donghyuck pouts at him. “Why are you playing favorites?” he complains, which Jaemin doesn’t get, really, but whatever.

“I’m going to get some water,” Renjun huffs, breaking free of Jaemin’s grip and stalking out the door. 

Donghyuck’s eyes twinkle as he chases after him. “Me too! I’m suddenly very _thirsty_ ,” he says, eyebrows waggling, and gets flipped off for his trouble. The door shuts behind them.

“They’re gross,” Jisung declares.

Jaemin takes that opportunity to sidle up to Jisung and pinch at his cheeks. “Aw, poor Jisungie, our baby shouldn’t be hearing such impure things!!!!” he cooes obnoxiously, as Jisung tries to bat him away to no avail.

“Man, Mark-hyung is going to be so scarred when he returns, he’ll probably request he not come back to Dream after all,” Chenle mutters, and that distracts Jaemin enough for Jisung to slip away and go hide behind Jeno at the other end of the room. 

Jaemin pouts at him, but turns back to Chenle to say, “Shit, you’re right. He gets back soon right?”

“Next Tuesday,” replies Jeno. “Four days from now.”

“Watch him walk in at the exact moment Renjun and Donghyuck pull this shit again,” says Jisung, peeking out from behind Jeno.

Jeno flicks him.

“Ouch! Why?” Jisung rubs at his side, grimacing.

“First of all, they’re still older than you, and we aren’t doing _yaja_ time. Call them hyung,” he says. “Second, you aren’t allowed to curse.”

“I’m not a baby!”

“You’re _our_ baby,” Jaemin insists, much to Jisung’s clear dismay. “And the pout you have on isn’t exactly helping your case,” he adds.

Jisung sighs. “Okay.”

/////

Jisung jinxed it, thinks Jaemin, as Mark surprises them by showing up to an earlier practice than planned…

And finds Renjun and Donghyuck— well— being Renjun and Donghyuck. Today, Donghyuck’s basically collapsed on all fours, Renjun on his knees behind him, holding him by the throat and trying to throttle him (because of course he is). Donghyuck’s whining is even more pitiful today, and as if in retaliation, Renjun refuses to back down, despite a very deep blush spreading not just over his face, but up to the tips of his ears and down beneath his collar. Jaemin doesn’t even have the slightest clue how they ended up in that position at all, but he isn’t about to ask.

“Um,” says Mark, quietly.

Neither of the currently occupied pair hear him. Jaemin sighs, going over to greet him and dragging Chenle and Jisung by their sleeves to do the same. They don’t fight back, but that’s probably because they’re strangely fixated on the disaster unfolding in the center of the room. “Hey, hyung! Welcome back.” Mark glances over Jaemin’s shoulder. “Don’t mind them, they’re always like this lately,” says Jaemin, shuffling a little to one side to block Mark’s view of them. Mark blinks at him.

“Not even a hello, hyung?” Jaemin prompts, yanking at Chenle’s and Jisung’s wrists so that they finally focus, jerking their eyes away from Renjun and Donghyuck doing whatever it is they call it.

“Hi, Mark-hyung,” Jisung mumbles.

“What’s up man?” says Chenle, in English, because he’s extra like that.

“What? O-oh! Sorry, right.” Mark giggles, scratching sheepishly at the back of his neck. “Hi guys. It’s good to be back…” He trails off. “I think.”

The door opens behind him, and Jeno slips in. “Hyung! You’re early!” He chirps, eye-smile in full force. “I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow!”

“That was the point, Jeno. It was a surprise.” Mark grins back, and pulls Jeno into a hug.

Jaemin pouts. _He_ didn’t get a hug. He decides to hijack this one, piling on Jeno and Mark and turning it into a group hug. Mark laughs, and Jeno complains about being squished, and after a moment, even Jisung and Chenle join in, much to Jaemin’s amusement.

The laughter and teasing gets loud enough at that point that Donghyuck and Renjun finally take notice, looking up confusedly. “What— Mark-hyung?” Renjun frowns. “I thought…?”

“Surprise?” Mark makes little jazz hands, laugh turning nervous. “Are… uh… is that okay?” He gestures vaguely at them. “Are you guys okay?”

Donghyuck just smiles serenely, as if he weren’t in a very compromising position and a victim of attempted murder. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He flutters his eyelashes, and presses harder against Renjun’s grip in a pointed challenge.

“Uh— well—”

Renjun shoves Donghyuck away, eyes wide. “It’s not what it looks like!” he yelps, completely ignoring the way Donghyuck rolls around clutching at his stomach (which is just plain dumb, Jaemin thinks, since Renjun shoved his shoulders), wailing about abuse. Somehow, Renjun grows even more flushed.

That can’t be healthy. Jaemin crosses the room and snatches up what he’s fairly sure is Renjun’s water bottle, then hands it over. “Drink, maybe? You look like you’re overheating.” Renjun pats his hand in thanks, but doesn’t bother doing as he’s told quite yet.

“I—”

“Actually dude,” Mark cuts in. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. You don’t need to explain yourselves.” He waves it off with one hand. “Now come on, you guys didn’t eat yet, right? Let’s go have some food.”

Jaemin watches Renjun mentally resign himself to Mark’s assumptions with no small amount of amusement, herding him along with the others as they bicker about where to go. At some point, Jeno grabs Renjun by the arm and drags him forward to join in some conversation about… aliens? Clearly for Renjun’s benefit; Jaemin knows for a fact that Jeno’s a no-good skeptic.

Mark drifts back to Jaemin around the time they emerge from the elevator. “So, Renjun and Hyuckie, huh?”

“What about them?” Jaemin hums, watching the two in question start arguing again, Jeno beside them looking fond while simultaneously taking great glee in their idiocy— he doesn’t look like that last part is true, of course (perks of having a puppy face and the softest smile ever) but Jaemin’s known him long enough to know he’s not quite as sweet as he makes himself out to be. He revels in chaos, that boy, though he pretends not to.

Mark quirks up an eyebrow. “They’re _something_ , right? Dating or making out or—” Mark clears his throat and pointedly lowers his voice. “Like. Fooling around?”

“You mean fucking,” Jaemin says, flatly, but he’s kind enough to keep his volume soft to match Mark’s. He shrugs. “We don’t really know. They swear they’re not, but… other than Jeno, no one believes them one bit.”

“They’ve gotta be though,” Mark mumbles. “Like… seriously, Renjun’s never like that.”

“That’s what I said! I don’t know why Jeno of all people believes them so easily. They’re not even good liars, right? And like—”

“Jaemin-ah! Mark-hyung! Are you coming or what?”

It’s Donghyuck calling, hanging off Renjun like some sort of demonic backpack. Renjun’s only making token efforts to shake him off, which again, isn’t really doing anything but proving Jaemin’s point about the two of them.

“Coming!” Mark yells back, and he and Jaemin pick up the pace.

/////

“ _Holy shit_ —” There’s a loud bang followed by a pained groan, and Jaemin leaps up, clicks save on his latest editing project (he spent way too many hours on it to lose it, emergency or not), and then dashes out to the hallway.

“What happened?” he demands. “Who’s dying?”

“It wasn’t us,” says Chenle, where he’s just finished setting up camp for the night on the sofa. 

Jaemin squints. “The last time you said that, it _was_ you guys who burned… something… to the bottom of one of our pans so badly we had to replace it.”

“That was definitely not me!” protests Chenle, offended. “I can actually cook, thanks!”

“Not if you let Jisung handle it so you can watch puppy videos,” Jaemin retorts.

“Hey,” Jisung complains, barely audible. Jaemin finds him lying underneath the living room rug.

Weird kids, these two.

“Fuck.”

The voice is Mark’s, Jaemin realizes now. He twists around, and on the other end of the hallway, fallen on his ass and rubbing ruefully at his forehead, is Mark himself.

“What the… hyung? What the hell happened to you?” Jaemin asks, hurrying over to help him up. 

“Closed the door too fast.”

“In… your own face?”

“Don’t judge me,” Mark grumbles while doing absolutely _nothing_ to help Jaemin pull him off the floor.

“Kinda hard not to,” Jaemin admits, grateful that he actually doesn’t skip arm day, you know, even though he desperately wants to more often than not. Mark’s heavy. “How’d you even do that? Why were you even still facing the door when you closed it behind you?”

“I wasn’t closing it _behind_ me,” Mark grumbles. “Obviously. I was going to use the shower but it’s _occupied_ , and the assholes didn’t lock it.”

Jaemin takes a moment to process that. “Asshole _s_?” he echoes, stressing the last letter. “Plural?”

“Yes.” Mark groans, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes like he’s trying to shove them all the way to the back of his skull— which, by the way, is a horrific image Jaemin doesn’t want to think about anymore. “I can’t even unsee that shit.”

The pieces click into place. “Renjun and—”

“—Donghyuck, yes,” Mark confirms. “I think they were just going at it, honestly, I don’t even know. They didn’t have their shirts on, and Hyuck wasn’t exactly being quiet… ugh, I was just so distracted thinking about this one track I’m working on I didn’t even notice. I’m so scarred, man.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows go up, and now that he thinks about it, he can hear them cracking up on the other side of the door— mostly Donghyuck, but Renjun is definitely laughing too, even if it seems to be a little hysterical.

“Tough luck man,” Jaemin settles on saying. “At least you have the authority to confront them.”

“Do I have to? I’d rather bleach the memory from my brain.”

“Yes, you have to.” Jaemin nods firmly.

/////

Jaemin shoots Mark a _look_ as they finish dinner, and with a sigh, Mark broaches the topic, looking every bit ready to bolt if the answer is unpleasant. Which is highly likely.

Renjun holds his hands up, purposely making his eyes look as wide and innocuous as possible. The corner of his mouth flickers. “We weren’t doing anything though?” 

Donghyuck nods emphatically beside him. “We weren’t,” he echoes, around a mouthful of tteokbokki.

Unless they lie, apparently. Because they are definitely lying.

Mark glares. “I’m not stupid, you know, even if you tease me all the time about it. I’m not blind either.”

“We were just fighting, Mark-hyung, as always,” says Donghyuck, rolling his eyes.

“ _Half-naked_?”

“Yes,” Renjun answers, tone clipped. “That brat didn’t want to leave me to shower in peace.”

Donghyuck pouts. “You were hogging it.”

“I hadn’t even started!”

“You _were_ going to hog it,” Donghyuck amends.

“I—”

“Guys! SHUT UP!” Mark slams his hands on the table, and Jisung, sitting beside him, jolts, nearly knocking over his water glass; only Chenle’s quick reflexes save it from toppling over and spilling its remaining contents. “Can you maybe, like, stop going off on tangents?”

“You asked!” Renjun and Donghyuck argue, completely in sync. It’s sickening.

Chenle grimaces. “Why don’t you just come clean already? We don’t care if you’re… whatever-ing,” he mumbles, flopping a hand in their general direction. “We won’t tell on you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Mark nods, serious as always. “We love you guys.” He wrinkles his nose. “Even if you keep traumatizing us. Me, especially.”

“Renjunnie, Hyuckie—” Jaemin starts.

“Whoa, whoa,” Donghyuck cuts in, slapping a hand over Jaemin’s mouth. His loose sleep shirt winds up half in his plate, soaking up leftover sauce, but you know what, that’s karma. Deserved. Also deserved: Jaemin licking his palm.

Donghyuck screams, jerking his hand back and whining, staring at his hand like it’s about to rot and fall off any second, instead of having like, a very teensy amount of Jaemin’s saliva on it. Jaemin’s offended; he’s not sick or anything, god. And the amount was very minuscule indeed. It’s not like Jaemin wanted to have Donghyuck’s skin in his mouth either, who knows where it’s been.

Jaemin cuts a glance at Renjun. Okay, he has some suspicions.

Speaking of Renjun, it’s him pinching at Donghyuck’s elbow that gets him to shut up. “Here.” He holds out a napkin.

Donghyuck blinks at him, smiles softer than Jaemin’s ever seen him smile, and takes it, then picks up where he left off as he wipes his hand. “Don’t get sappy on us now. If you start, you won’t stop until we’re all bawling. I know you, don’t even deny it.” he tells Jaemin, either ignorant of or just plain ignoring the others gawking at the last display.

Jaemin catches Jisung, specifically, mouthing, _what the fuck_ , at Chenle, and Jaemin can’t even reprimand him because— same, honestly.

“We came out to you like, the instant we figured it out,” Renjun adds. “We wouldn’t hide something like us fooling around from you _if_ it were happening.”

“But it’s not,” Donghyuck finishes. He makes a face and Jaemin braces himself because he knows exactly what’s coming. And sure enough, in his most obnoxious, aegyo voice possible, Donghyuck squeaks out, “Don’t you trust us?”

Chenle shrieks. Jisung flinches. Mark... wait, where’d he go?

Jaemin finds him in the kitchen, a green bottle fresh out of the fridge in his hand. Jaemin waves a hand at him. “Hyung, share.”

Mark takes a long swig, and after a moment of hesitating, hands it over. Jaemin beams at him in thanks, and then mimics the action before passing it back.

“He’s drinking,” snickers Jeno, and Jaemin is struck by the abrupt realization that Jeno has been oddly quiet this entire time. “He literally just got back. Congrats Hyuck.”

Donghyuck tosses him a wink.

“Why are you so quiet?” Jaemin demands, elbowing Jeno in the gut (not hard, of course).

Jeno shrugs. “Because I believe them? They’re not fucking. I know they aren’t. And all you guys are doing right now is trying to get them to admit they are. You don’t even have solid proof to go throwing around accusations.”

Jaemin freezes. That… “Well, Mark-hyung—”

“I, uh,” Mark stuttered out. “To be fair, I didn’t see anything like. Definite… It was still inappropriate though! And it looked like— like—”

“What did you see, anyway?” Jeno asks, and it’s gentle, and not pointed at all, but it feels distinctly like a challenge. Jaemin doesn’t like the feeling starting to squirm in his stomach in response, either; it feels a lot like guilt, and he hates that.

He’s going to have to cook their favorite foods for the next week at least to get rid of it, ugh.

“I, well— they—” Mark goes impressively red, and Renjun must have mercy on him, because he stops staring him down with his crossed arms and pursed lips (the patented disappointed-at-how-far-you’ve-fallen Renjun look™) long enough to answer for him.

“He walked in on Hyuck trying to steal my shower time— even though we agreed I’d go before he did— by physical force,” he says. He narrows his eyes at Donghyuck. “He was literally trying to get naked and get in there so I couldn’t stop him, but like hell I was letting that happen. Mark walked in while we were wrestling.”

“I mean, I offered to shower together,” Donghyuck mutters. “But you didn’t want to.”

“Wh— of course I didn’t!”

Jeno huffs out a chuckle. “Hyuck, that wouldn’t have worked. Logistics.”

“Logistics, schmogistics. Who gives a shit?” He grins, all teeth. “Besides, Renjun should be grateful I offered. Other people would die to—”

“Yeah, _you_ would die. I’d kill you,” Renjun mutters darkly.

Jisung tugs at Jaemin and Chenle’s sleeves. “Are they going to do it? Right here? I think they are. Can we leave?”

“Shhhh!” Chenle hisses. “I wanna watch the drama first.”

“Let’s just watch your Chinese dramas then!”

“Wait, really? You never watch those with me!” Chenle bounces up from his seat, dragging a very regretful-looking Jisung by the sleeve towards Jisung and Jaemin’s room. “Let’s go!”

Jaemin just _knows_ he’ll find them snuggled up in _his_ bed later, but whatever.

When he tunes back into the chaos, he realizes Mark’s been frantically shouting at them to get back on topic, to no avail.

Jaemin clears his throat, and the bickering comes to a halt.

Mark turns round eyes on him, and Jaemin shrugs, trying not to look too smug. “When they don’t listen to me I don’t cook them food,” he explains. He doesn’t say that in this particular instance, his guilt would have made him do it either way, because then the trio would stop listening to him, and that would make all this a lot harder. “So, to summarize, Mark walked in on you two, shirtless, wrestling.”

“They fell in the bathtub right as I walked in,” Mark pipes up. “So that was… pretty incriminating.”

Jeno’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline, and he makes a gesture at Renjun and Donghyuck as if to say, _well, your move now._

“He was trying to drown me!” Donghyuck complains. “Not fuck me to next week!” He mumbles something inaudible that makes Renjun reach for him, face red, but Jeno snatches at his hand before he can follow through.

“There wasn’t even any water,” huffs Renjun. “I couldn’t have drowned you even if I wanted to.”

“You shouldn’t drown Donghyuck, Renjun.” Jeno gently places Renjun’s hand back in his lap, and pats it sweetly. It’s a warning, even if it’s written in script on scented paper instead of a blaringly ugly rotten signpost.

Renjun must recognize it too, because he swallows thickly and makes a small sound of agreement.

“So…” Mark begins, after taking another long drink of soju. He pauses, and then takes another quick sip. “So, you… _weren’t_ trying to get your dicks wet?”

“Not in that sense,” Renjun quips. “Just literally. I wanted to get clean.”

“Looks like Hyuck might have to do it again though,” Jeno giggles, tugging at Donghyuck’s ruined shirt.

Donghyuck finally notices the huge stain and starts sobbing about the unfairness of the world. Jaemin shakes his head. 

Just another Monday night at the Dream dorm.

/////

It keeps happening. 

Jaemin gets a distressed call from Jisung when he heads to the cafeteria and finds Renjun with Donghyuck’s fingers in his mouth; because apparently, Donghyuck had stolen the last red gummy from Renjun’s pack of Haribo, and Renjun liked the red ones best, so he’d eaten it straight out of Donghyuck’s hand. Or so Jeno said. He’d been there, after all, but Jisung hadn’t noticed him in his horrified fleeing.

Chenle comes back from a costume fitting asking for the bleach or a lobotomy, because as they were all getting redressed, Chenle had elbowed Donghyuck in the hip and hit a bruise— one that he’d immediately begun to whine was Renjun’s fault. Renjun arrives home just in time to catch that bit of the story and explain he’d hip-checked Donghyuck a little too hard the day before, right into a table, and Donghyuck has yet to forgive him, “Since he’s a whiny baby.”

Jaemin himself walks into Renjun’s room, intending to ask him something, and finds Renjun pinning Donghyuck by his wrists to the bed with one hand, growling something at him about disrespect as Donghyuck mewls ( _actually_ mewls, good god, Jaemin thought only cats did that) for mercy. Renjun’s other hand starts sneaking under Donghyuck’s shirt, and Donghyuck’s yells only get louder, airy with a half-laugh, half… something. Jaemin does _not_ wanna know. He shuts the door and leaves without a backward glance, ears burning red.

He hears Donghyuck’s screeching laughter a second later, and Renjun’s door slams open, Renjun insisting frantically that it wasn’t what it looked like, he was just tickling Donghyuck in revenge, he swears— but his mouth is twitching, a laugh seeping into his voice, and Jaemin doesn’t believe it, not really.

They seem to be taking some sick sort of joy in the torment they’re causing, goblins that they are. When he complains to Jeno about it, all he gets is a small smile and a shrug. “They’ll get bored of it eventually,” says Jeno, easily. “As long as they stop interfering with practice, it’s fine, right? I already talked with them about that, by the way.” He pauses. “But if you want to nag at them, you can. They made their bed.”

“Don’t call it nagging.”

“It is what it is though!”

“It is not. And— _hey_ , hands off the cake, dinner is almost ready and you’ll ruin your appetite.”

/////

“They have _got_ to be fucking,” Mark insists, a week and a half later, backing up out of the practice room and blocking it off by leaning against the door. “This is the third time _today_.”

Jeno tugs Mark by the wrist, leading him away from the door, and walks right in. A true martyr. “What did Donghyuck do this time?” Jaemin hears him asking.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Renjun grumbles, as Jaemin decides things are probably safe if Jeno hasn’t come out screaming yet and slips in after him.

Donghyuck looks… ruffled, to put it politely. Renjun is flustered and put out, brow furrowed as he frowns.

Jeno smiles bemusedly and steps up behind Donghyuck, combing his hair down with his fingers. “Hyuck, don’t tease our Renjun so much, huh?”

_Our_ Renjun? Since when had Jeno called him that?

“It’s so fun though!”

“Not for _me_ ,” Renjun says, swatting at Donghyuck’s shoulder as he marches over to the door and yanks it all the way open, looking distinctly unimpressed as Chenle nearly tumbles head over heels. “We’re decent— just like every other time. Get your asses in here.”

Chenle gives an embarrassed little giggle, and behind him, Jisung’s playing with his cheeks the way he does when he’s nervous, like he’s doing his best to imitate a fish. 

Mark is last to file in. He clears his throat. “Are you sure you aren’t like. Making out? Bumping uglies? Canoodling? Something like that? Even if not full-on fucking, because—”

“Did it look like that?” Jeno asks. “Because when I walked in it looked more like a catfight.” He turns to Renjun, grinning. “You really have terrible fighting technique. You looked more like a middle schooler than a grown man.”

“Maybe I didn’t want to seriously hurt him,” sniffs Renjun, and Jaemin stifles a snort into his palm, because of course that was the reason, not that Renjun was the exact opposite of Jaemin when it came to arm day, and somehow (probably black magic and Renjun’s inexplicable ability to be cuter than expected) convinced his trainer to let him skip it more often than not.

Jeno’s smile only broadens, and he pats Renjun’s shoulder. “Sure, Junnie,” he says.

“How come no one’s concerned about me?” Donghyuck mutters. “No one’s asked me how I am after being _mauled—_ ”

“Oh please, I didn’t even—”

“By what, a newborn kitten?” scoffs Chenle jerking his head pointedly at Renjun. Donghyuck barks out a laugh at the same time that Renjun goes to chase a squealing Chenle around the practice room.

In the meanwhile, Donghyuck has curled into Jeno’s chest, looking as pitiful as possible so Jeno will pet his head, and Jaemin has to wonder: is it really Renjun and Donghyuck with something going on? Jeno seems oddly… cozy with them.

No, Jaemin’s probably imagining things. Jeno’s his best friend, he’d know if things were happening. More importantly, they have practice to get to, and no one’s even setting up the music.

Oh, wait. Mark’s there. That’s one thing, at least.

He sighs. When he joined SM, he’d thought he was signing up to be an idol, not a single parent at the tender age of twenty-one. He tugs on Jeno’s sleeve, eyebrow raised.

Jeno nudges Donghyuck away very lightly. “Guys!” he calls. “Come on, formation!” Mark, standing by the computer, nods. “Let’s go! 1, 2, 3, dada-da-da…”

/////

There are a million reasons Jaemin wants to burn this company, honestly, but currently, his biggest reason is walking into the dorm to hear Donghyuck pleading with Renjun for _more_.

More what, Jaemin doesn’t want to know, never does. Especially considering how desperate Donghyuck had sounded… Jaemin shudders just thinking about it.

He was just going to make instant ramen for dinner, but you know what, some McDonald’s is sounding pretty good right about now.

/////

**AN INTERLUDE**

**chat: the dreamies**

**nana:** no one come home

**nana:** you dont wanna be home

**kekouchenle:** i mean im at home but i assume you mean the dorm

**nana:** dont be a smartass when im trying to save your virgin eyes out of the goodness of my heart

**kekouchenle:** who said my eyes were virgin eyes

**nononono:** why whats wrong at home? i thought hyuck and jun and jisungie were home. Are they okay?

**kekouchenle:** hello?

**nana:** DID YOU SAY JISUNGIE WTF

**nana:** ARE THOSE BASTARDS CORRUPTING THE CHILD?????

**kekouchenle:** fine ignore me :(

**nononono:** dude i told you they arent fucking and even if they were, you dont really think they would with jisungie right there, do you

**nana:** they wouldnt on their own but jisung

**nana:** i dont trust him since he borrowed my laptop last time

**nononono:** *jisungs* who you dont trust?? who are you and what did you do with nana

**nana:** listen, if you saw what porn the kid left open you wouldnt trust him either

**nana:** i still have nightmares

**nononono:** hes a *baby* who let him have porn???

**kekouchenle:** waitwait

**kekouchenle:** i think were ignoring a very obvious question

**nononono:** what

**kekouchenle:** why was jaemin-hyung looking at it instead of just closing it

**nononono:** thats… a good question

**markmeinyour <3: **whats happening why is the chat exploding

**kekouchenle:** jaemin-hyungs a voyeur

**markmeinyour <3: **what????????????!!!!!!!

**nana:** I AM NOT

**nana:** jisungie is tho

**nononono:** ew

**kekouchenle:** i mean wbk but okay

**markmeinyour <3: **what. what do you mean ‘wbk’. What!!!!

**kekouchenle:** it means we been knew, mark-hyung. your age is showing.

**markmeinyour <3: **yes but why do you

**nana:** GUYS WERE GETTING OFF-TOPIC.

**nana:** RENHYUCK ARE DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT AND JISUNGS JUST. THERE????

**markmeinyour <3: **hello??? Why does chenle know

**markmeinyour <3: **also im not that old like i know what wbk means without you explaining

**nana:** WHY DID WE THINK LEAVING THEM WITH JISUNGIE WAS A GOOD IDEA????

**nononono:** still dont think renhyuck would do anything

**markmeinyour <3: **are we seriously not going to question chenle…?

**nononono:** eh at this point id be more surprised if he didnt know

**nana:** he and jisung are practically conjoined so same

**markmeinyour <3: **and we just accept this???????

**nana:** duh

**kekouchenle:** i mean youre not wrong about us being attached but also youre not right

**nononono:** well yes thats bc you guys are actually physically welded together

**kekouchenle:** thats not what i meant

**kekouchenle:** i meant that like

**kekouchenle:** jisung and i are

**kekouchenle:** maybe possibly

**nana:** I SEE YOU INJUNNIE STOP LURKING AND EXPLAIN

**kekouchenle:** … k then

**renjunrun:** I’m backreading, shut up.

**renjunrun:** Okay so first of all: no. Second of all: n o. All in all: n. o.

**renjunrun:** We arent fucking, and certainly not with Jisung in the room.

**renjunrun:** Jisung’s kinks don’t belong in this chat and I hate that I know this now.

**renjunrun:** Same goes for Jaemin’s kinks.

**hyuckitup:** y’all nasty

**markmeinyour <3: **youre nastier!!!!!!!!!

**hyuckitup:** i am no such thing

**hyuckitup:** you guys are the ones making insinuations and assumptions about the sounds ive literally always made

**renjunrun:** Spare us the self-righteousness, we all know your sense of humor is disgusting

**hyuckitup:** at least i have a sense of humor

**nononono:** wheres jisungie

**hyuckitup:** fell asleep ten mins into the movie

**hyuckitup:** which is good because again: y’all nasty

/////

Jaemin steeples his fingers together and leans forward. “Okay, so I called this family meeting to discuss the matter of RenHyuck. This is getting serious.”

Jeno just snorts. “Is that what this is?”

“I want no part of this,” Mark mutters, pushing to his feet. “I came because you promised food. I am _not_ scheming against Donghyuck with you. I share dorms with him, you know! He _will_ retaliate.”

Jaemin snags him by the wrist and drags him back down. “You still can’t leave. You’re banned from working anymore tonight, don’t think I didn’t notice you haven’t surfaced from the studio since you vanished into it at ass o’clock this morning.”

Jisung yawns into his hand. “Hyung, I’m sleepy, can we at least order first?”

Ugh. Kids. Fine. 

A few minutes later, the food is ordered. Jaemin can feel his wallet crying in his pocket, but more importantly, they really need to address the RenHyuck situation. Jaemin doesn’t know what’s going on between them, but it’s clear it isn’t nothing— and he’s so happy for them, of course he is, but he worries, too. Tensions get high enough around comebacks, and he doesn’t want them to hurt each other, much less the whole group by being careless.

And, on a more shallow note, Jaemin’s pretty sure none of them would appreciate walking in on a racy situation.

“So,” Jaemin begins, shooting a warning glare at everyone else around the table so they won’t interrupt again. “RenHyuck. Does anybody know what’s actually going on between them?”

“I don’t think I want to,” mutters Mark. Jaemin ignores him.

No one else says anything, so Jaemin turns his gaze on Jeno. “You. You know something. Spill.”

“I know that they aren’t fucking,” Jeno says, shrugging. “I don’t know what else you want me to say. Does it really matter all that much?”

“They’re desecrating like. All our important places,” Jaemin complains.

Jeno rolls his eyes. “They aren’t fucking.” He takes a— really rather vicious— bite of his pizza. Jaemin only manages not to flinch by sheer force of will. ”Again. They. Are. Not. Fucking.”

“Of course he’d say that,” Jisung mumbles, around a mouthful of garlic bread, nudging Chenle conspiratorially.

Jeno whirls to face them. “Hm? What did you say?” He raises an eyebrow when all Jisung does is turn red and look away, chewing on the inside of his own cheek, embarrassed at being caught, but really, what did he expect? He wasn’t exactly quiet enough to go unheard. “What? What does that mean?”

Chenle just sighs, shaking his head. “Yah, Jisung-ah, I can’t tell you anything.”

“Hello?” Jeno says.

Jisung swallows, and suddenly he won’t look anyone in the eyes. “Chenle thinks you’re in on it,” he blurts, gesturing vaguely at Jeno. 

Jeno only smiles a little curiously. “In on what, exactly?”

“IT!” Chenle cries, as he flails a hand around. Apparently, he’s figured that since Jisung’s outed him, he might as well go all the way. “Whatever Renjun- _ge_ and Donghyuck-hyung are up to!”

“What makes you say that?”

“You— you’re literally so sure about them. You talk and hang out with them almost as much as you do Jaemin these days,” Chenle lists out, sounding strangely smug for something getting no reaction out of Jeno at all. “I’ve seen you whispering and laughing together. You guys were practically a human knot on the couch last week!”

“Why do you make it sound like a crime?”

“Why aren’t you denying it?”

“Nothing you said is false,” Jeno admits, with a shrug. “But none of it is proof of anything either.”

Chenle grins. “But you’re still not denying your involvement.”

Jeno only stares flatly. “Because that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? Last I checked, I wasn’t the one making obscene noises— or wringing them out of anybody.” 

Jaemin can’t fight his laughter at that, so caught off-guard he almost chokes on the crust he was munching on. Mark flails for a second, worried, before whacking at his back a little bit harder than Jaemin thinks is altogether necessary.

Once Jaemin’s convinced Mark he’s fine (and stopped him from breaking his poor spine— again), he says, “He got you there, Chenle. It _would_ be obvious if Jeno was involved. I’d know.”

“Wh— no you wouldn’t! Just because he isn’t _directly_ involved doesn’t mean he can’t still be scheming!”

“Me? Scheming?” demands Jeno, fluttering his lashes as innocently as possible. Ironically, it’s this that makes Jaemin skeptical of him. Not by much, but still. “Scheming _what_.”

Chenle squints at him. “I’ll figure that out eventually.”

“You don’t even know what he’d be scheming?” Mark asks, giving into his curiosity like Jaemin knew he would. “Then why are you so sure?”

“You didn’t see them like I did.”

“Uh… huh.” Mark takes a long drink of water. He looks like he wishes it was soju. “Well, whatever happens— or has already happened— let’s just try to respect their privacy, okay? They don’t interrupt practice anymore, and they aren’t seriously traumatizing you guys, are they?”

He gets a chorus of no’s, hesitant though they may be (except Jeno’s, of course, which is sure as sure can be). 

Mark lets out a deep sigh, and Jaemin feels a little bad for him. Such are the burdens of a leader, though, informal or not. “Like, I’ll talk to them about toning it down though. Just in case.” He raises his eyebrows. “Okay? Other than that, we leave them be.”

Begrudgingly, Jaemin agrees first. Jeno smiles at him, almost in thanks, and nods too. Chenle and Jisung are quick to follow suit, but—

“I still think,” Chenle mutters, “that they’re fucking. And that Jeno-hyung is too.”

Jeno throws his hands in the air. “I give up.” Jaemin registers him saying something about heading back early, and waves at him absently. “Have fun with your conspiracy theories,” he tosses over his shoulder. 

“I don’t know, Lele,” Jisung says, voice soft. “I don’t think so. I really don’t think so. Jeno-hyung isn’t _that_ chaotic.” He takes another slice of pizza for himself, and Jaemin doesn’t know whether to be horrified or amazed. Jisung’s basically finished half of the large pizza they ordered all on his own.

It’s because Jisung’s a growing boy, he supposes, but still. There’s gotta be a limit. Jisung doesn’t even seem to be slowing down.

“He can be,” Jaemin pipes up. “Not often, but he’s capable.”

Chenle crosses his arms. “See, Jisung-ah? I’d bet anything on me being right.”

Jisung’s eyes sparkle, and it’s a sign of no-good-at-all, but also it’s like… the cutest thing ever. Jaemin can’t bring himself to stop whatever’s happening. “Anything?”

“ _Anything_ ,” Chenle insists.

“Like. ‘You cook for me for two weeks,’ anything?”

Chenle snorts. “Sure. Sure, that’s fine.”

“Yah, Jisung-ah, you know he’d do it for you anyway, right? You should choose a better prize,” says Jaemin, teasing.

Jisung blinks at him, and by the pink tinting his cheeks, knows that it’s true. Still he shakes his head. “No, it’s okay, I think that’s a good prize.” He puffs out his cheeks, averting his gaze.

“Yeah,” says Chenle. “It’s not like he’ll win anyway, so it doesn’t matter.”

“I think he just might, though,” says Mark, “Like, I’d bet on Jisung being right; Jeno didn’t look caught at all. His reaction was way too calm.”

“Oh? OH?” Chenle’s grin is devil-wide, sharp as a knife, his voice more piercing and high-pitched than a siren. “You’d _bet_? Like, actually, actually bet?”

Mark flounders. Jaemin knows he’s always weak to a good wager, but he’s also clearly trying not to give in and be responsible.

He just needs a little push.

Honestly, a bet sounds kind of fun. It might be a good way to keep the mood up as their comeback preparations get more serious, more difficult. Their schedules will get tighter, their hours for fun and rest shorter, and morale and tempers will get absolutely abysmal. But this could be a bright spot. A fun little joke, a bonding experience.

“I’ll bet,” says Jaemin. “I’ll bet on Chenle’s side. If he’s wrong I’ll treat the winners to dinner. All-you-can-eat meat.”

“Ha, if Jaemin-hyung sides with me, I’m probably right. He knows Jeno-hyung best out of all of us!” Chenle leans back, smug. “You still side with Jisung? Jisung, you still think Jeno-hyung isn’t in on it?”

Jisung waffles for a bit, scrunching up his nose as he considers. “Yeah,” he says eventually. “Yeah I still think you’re overanalyzing.”

“Fine,” huffs Chenle, feigning disdain. “Mark-hyung?”

“I shouldn’t…”

“Oh come on,” drawls Jaemin, with his slimiest smirk just to amuse Mark and make him laugh. “It’s just a small bet.”

Mark snorts, breaking out into giggles, kicking gently at Jaemin’s knee— Jaemin, of course, immediately pretends he’s received a mortal wound, because that’s the only correct reaction here, really. “Fine. I’ll bet bingsu for the winners if we lose,” Mark sighs.

“Who’s ‘we?’” Chenle demands. “Jaemin-hyung and I? Or—”

“Jisung,” says Mark, firmly. When Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, all he says is, “I think you two are getting worked up over nothing.” Jaemin’s eyebrow crawls a little higher, and Mark admits, “Also, Jisung’s been pouting at me, you know I can’t—”

“That’s fair,” says Jaemin, glancing to the side to see that yes, Jisung has been giving his best puppy eyes to Mark, and that would sway _anyone_.

“Alright then.” Chenle accepts it easily enough. He sticks a hand out. “No take-backs.”

Jaemin lays his hand on top of Chenle’s, and Jisung does the same. Mark hesitates, but eventually, he does it too. 

Chenle grins.

/////

That grin only gets wider when they get home. Donghyuck’s there, even though he doesn’t even live in the dorm.

He’s also snuggling up to Jeno on one side of the sofa, Renjun on the other. They’ve got their heads bent together over Jeno’s lap, snickering quietly about something, while Jeno rests his elbows on their backs to hold up his phone.

“Babies, we’re home!” trills Jaemin, just to be obnoxious.

“I’m older than you,” Renjun retorts, without even glancing over.

“I’m not _your_ baby,” says Donghyuck, batting Jeno’s elbow away so he can straighten up and stretch. 

Renjun just flops forward, sprawling over Jeno’s and Donghyuck’s laps with a quiet grunt. 

Jeno, for his part, takes this all in stride, swearing at his screen and tapping so furiously at his phone that Jaemin can hear the clicks of his fingers against it. 

“You know, Junnie, you’re practically a cat yourself, I don’t think we need to get one,” Donghyuck says, scritching— for lack of a better word— behind Renjun’s ear. Renjun presses into it for a fraction of a moment, seemingly caught off-guard, before flicking at Donghyuck’s wrist with a scowl.

Donghyuck only beams sunnily and flicks Renjun back.

“We _can’t_ have a cat,” Jeno grunts, shifting his grip on his phone to hold it one-handed, using his now free hand to snatch up Donghyuck’s hand and lace their fingers. It would almost look romantic, thinks Jaemin, if he couldn’t see the strength Jeno was using to squeeze. 

Also, Donghyuck’s whining is pitiful and totally killing the atmosphere.

Chenle waggles his brows at Jisung. _Told you,_ he mouths, before he heads into the kitchen to tuck away the (admittedly very meager) leftovers.

“I’m allergic,” Jeno finishes, ignoring Donghyuck’s complaints entirely. “Also, you don’t even live here, you don’t get a say.”

“I’m trying to help!” Donghyuck protests. “I’m on your side!”

“How is calling me a cat helping? The only thing it does is implies you’re a furry.”

“It implies _you’re_ the furry, not me.”

“That’s not how it works, furries are the ones attracted to—”

“Renjun-ah’s a furry! Did you hear that—”

Jaemin has no idea what happens next. All he knows is that one moment, Jeno still has an irked Renjun in his lap and a playfully mean Donghyuck beside him, their hands laced together— and the next, Renjun is on the opposite end of the couch, pressed against it to escape the danger zone, while Donghyuck, Donghyuck is—

On the floor? Groaning.

“Jeno-yah, why—”

“You were being a dick,” snips Jeno. “And you made me lose my game. Right before I got a high score.”

“This is assault!” cries Donghyuck, throwing an arm over his eyes in true diva fashion. “Jaemin-ah! Tell manager-nim Jeno’s responsible when I can’t perform!”

Jaemin eyes them uneasily. Jeno is smiling at him, eyes crinkled up the way they always are, absolutely endearing, and Jaemin is weak, especially to his best friend of almost a decade, and really, Donghyuck kinda deserved it, so—

But Donghyuck is also pouting, and he looks like a baby bear, and it’s—

“Why me?” Jaemin finally manages to eke out. Jeno’s smile grows a little, and at this point, it feels a little threatening. Jaemin fights a shiver.

Donghyuck squirms in his seat, and Jaemin doesn’t bother tamping down his shudder at the obnoxious aegyo. “Because you love me?” he squeaks out.

“Try again,” Renjun butts in.

“I wasn’t talking to _you_ ,” Donghyuck says, voice dropping like two octaves lower, posture immediately shifting from small and cute to puffed up and ready to brawl.

“Stop flirting,” Chenle snaps, dragging Jisung past them, down the hallway. Jaemin has to agree, but also—

“Yah, don’t you go stealing my bed again. Don’t cross the line, huh,” Jaemin calls after them. “Jisung’s bunk is perfectly usable.”

Chenle hums noncommittally, and then the door to Jaemin and Jisung’s room shuts, the two youngest disappearing into it. They won’t listen, Jaemin knows.

“As for _you_ —” He starts, turning to the three on the sofa. 

He’s about to launch into a lecture about appropriate levels of PDA and also not doing judo flips when they have downstairs neighbors when Donghyuck blurts, “Where’s Canada?”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow. “At your dorm? Like he should be?”

Jeno says, “Canada is north of the United States.” His voice is suddenly very small and very placid. Like he hadn’t just— easily— flipped a grown man head over heels to pin him to the floor. And also threatened Jaemin with nothing but a smile.

Terrifying, truly.

“That’s not— why do you know this?” demands Donghyuck. “We live in Asia.”

“Why don’t you?” Renjun retorts, for no reason other than to annoy Donghyuck. And cause Jaemin a migraine. Obviously. For the cherry on top, he adds, “It’s basic geography. Bitch.”

“I swear to _god_ —“ Donghyuck lunges, but Jeno snags him by the shirt like a kitten being held by its scruff, and Renjun must realize that too, because he taunts,

“Who’s the cat now, asshole?”

“I—“

“Shut up!” Jaemin screams, neighbors be damned. Fuck this family. “All of you. Donghyuck, go home. Renjun, don’t be bitchy—“

“Ha, I—“

“ _Donghyuck_.” Jaemin turns. “Jeno…”

“Yes?”

Jaemin pinches the bridge of his nose, slumping onto the sofa. His best friend rubs comfortingly at his knee, like he isn’t one third of the whole problem, but sadly, it’s working. “Jeno-yah,” he whines. “I hate you.”

Jeno chuckles. “No you don’t, but sorry for making it hard on you, Nana.”

“Sorry,” the other two chorus. 

“Are you?” He narrows his eyes at them for a long moment. They shuffle a little awkwardly, heads ducked like kids being lectured, and— “This is that serious, huh?” Jaemin breathes out. “Fine. Whatever. Just… at least don’t be so loud, will you? We have neighbors. I know you don’t interrupt practice or delay it anymore, but the dorm needs to have limits too.”

Renjun nods, sheepish. “Yeah, we should have considered that more.”

“I guess I could have provoked them less,” Donghyuck admits. “I don’t live here, either, so the consequences wouldn’t fall on me. I forgot and I shouldn’t have.”

Jaemin holds his stare a little longer, before flopping back and flapping a hand at them. “Whatever. Just be careful next time.”

They agree, and Jeno leans in close and pulls Jaemin into a hug, gently combing through his hair to calm him. It works; Jaemin sighs happily and cuddles up to Jeno’s side. “You’re in on it, aren’t you?” he mumbles.

Jeno snorts, pausing. “What, Chenle got to you, too?” He chuckles quietly when Jaemin complains at the lack of hair-combing, but obediently picks it up again. “What am I supposed to be in on?”

“You’re answering a question with a question,” Jaemin mutters. “That’s not suspicious or anything.”

“It isn’t,” agrees Jeno. “Because I can’t answer about something I don’t know.”

“You do know! Whatever, like, Renjun and Donghyuck are doing.”

“They’re doing a lot of things.”

“Like each other?”

Jeno flicks Jaemin’s forehead and stands. “Just go to bed, you loser. I’m going to walk Donghyuck downstairs and wait with him for the car. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Jaemin conks out right there on the couch. Later, when he wakes, he won’t know who it was that gave him a pillow and a blanket, adjusting his position slightly to prevent cricks or cramps, but he’ll be thankful to his members for it.

/////

They finally discover the truth on their last rest day before they shoot the performance video.

It happens like this:

Jaemin finds the kids huddled in front of the practice room door, faces twisted into disgusted grimaces, hissing excuses at each other for why they won’t open the door. They spot Jaemin easily enough, and brighten up; Jaemin already knows what that means, and he tries to steel himself—

But of course, Jisung just says, with his sweetest possible smile and soft, tentative voice, “Hyungie, do us a favor?”

Jaemin’s resolve crumbles. He’s only human, okay!?

“What favor,” he sighs, letting himself be tugged gently toward the door. He knows what favor. He just has the teensiest bit of hope he'll be wrong.

“They’re— listen—” says Chenle, urgently. Jaemin frowns, about to ask, _for what_ , when he hears it. Faint, certainly, but audible from this side of the door when it shouldn’t be (though that may have been partly chalked up to SM’s shitty soundproofing for non-recording rooms), he can hear Donghyuck, whining quite loudly, almost frantically. It’s too muffled for Jaemin to make out much, but he does hear the word “please” once or twice, pretty fucking distinctly.

Jaemin scowls. Seriously? “This is serious,” he mutters. “And jeez, Renjun could go a little easy on him, huh? It almost sounds like torture in there.”

“I could do what now?”

Chenle screams, grabbing at Jisung almost instinctively, which is cute, but Jaemin can’t even coo over it because—

He whips around to find Renjun standing with a hand on his hip, eyebrows raised.

“But if you— WHAT!?” Chenle demands.

“Ohmygod,” Jisung breathes. He raises a hand to his mouth, and he might be trembling a little. “Ohmygod,” he repeats.

“You—” Jaemin starts.

The door flings open, and Donghyuck himself is there in all his debauched glory— rumpled, wrinkled training clothes, hair sticking up like any cartoon mad scientist, lips swollen and spit-slick. “What the fuck? Who’s dying? Why are you shrieking?” 

Jaemin blinks.

Is that… “ _Jeno Lee?!_ ”

Jeno, unlike Donghyuck, looks perfectly put together. In fact, his blank, puzzled puppy eyes would be very convincing of his innocence if not for the glaringly dark hickeys just under his jaw and above his collarbone. “Yes, Jaemin Na?” he says, as if he doesn’t know what Jaemin means.

“You—” Jaemin cuts himself off. Where does he even start with this? First of all, Jeno and _Donghyuck_? What universe was this?

Secondly— he lied! To Jaemin! Weren’t they best friends? How could he say he wasn’t involved so easily, when he clearly was?

Thirdly… what the fuck. What the _actual_ fuck.

“You guys are so noisy,” says Renjun, inexplicably fondly. He rolls his eyes. “If you were trying to be sneaky, that isn’t it.”

“We weren’t trying to be sneaky,” Jeno says easily, apparently tired of waiting for Jaemin to pick his jaw up from the floor and finish whatever he means to say— not that even Jaemin knows, at this point, what that would be— what that _should_ be. “No one was supposed to be around. We reserved the room and everything, so.”

Renjun and Donghyuck start bickering again— something about Donghyuck being the problem every single time, if he’d just shut up—

Somewhere to the side, Chenle is still doing his best impersonation of an anthropomorphic dolphin, except, like, muffled, by Jisung’s hand, probably.

Hopefully. Jesus, if Jeno can make out with Donghyuck, at this point Jaemin feels like Chenle and Jisung could also be making out—

Which is ridiculous. Absolutely _ridiculous_.

Right?

But now that Jaemin thinks about it, maybe the hints were there? Somehow? But why would Jeno lie about it, that actually kinda hurts.

“HA!”

Jaemin jerks, and finds that Chenle has somehow wrestled his way out of Jisung’s impossibly long arms. “I just realized, this means I won the bet!” he crows.

“Bet?” Renjun asks. It sounds curious and nothing more, but Jaemin takes a step out of his reach, just in case.

Donghyuck quirks up an eyebrow. “What bet?”

Chenle beams. “That Jeno was involved, of course. In whatever thing—”

Jisung coughs out— “fucking—”

“—you guys were doing.”

“Don’t swear,” snaps Jaemin, on instinct.

“Oh he’s back,” says Jisung.

Jaemin narrows his eyes at Jisung. Was that a jab at him? He’s… still a little mentally jumbled so he can’t tell. He’ll let it slide for now. “Okay, okay, hold up,” he says. “Someone explain. What’s going on? You said you weren’t fucking.”

“We’re not,” says Donghyuck. “Hello? Do I look naked to you? Even partially?”

Jisung yelps, raising a hand to his eyes. “I don’t. Want that image. I’m leaving.” He gets about three steps away before he realizes Chenle isn’t with him, still watching the chaos with a smug smirk on his lips. He comes back. “Chenle-yah, come _on_.”

Jaemin watches them go, breathing out a sigh of relief. Yeah, that’s for the best, probably.

“So?” he says, turning back to the other three. He makes a ‘keep going’ gesture. “Explain.”

“We were just making out, Nana,” Jeno says, voice rounded ever so slightly like the edges like pouting might get Jaemin to be less upset.

Not that he’s upset, he just—

No, he’s a little upset. 

“Okay? And you hid it because…?”

Renjun speaks up then. “That’s my fault,” he admits. “I know you guys wouldn’t have minded the three of us—” he pauses, cheeks blooming a sweet pink. “—being a thing, don’t get me wrong, but I just wanted to be sure, y’know, that it would work out.” Like an afterthought, he adds, “Mostly with Hyuck, to be honest. You know how we are. I was concerned it might implode.”

Donghyuck stills for a moment, apparently considering whether he should take offense to that or not. “You know what,” he says eventually. “That’s fair. I respect that.”

Jaemin sighs. “Okay, I can’t be mad at you for that,” he mumbles, deflating like a balloon. Out of all of them, Renjun tended to hold his cards close to his chest. He was meticulous and careful about everything, liked certainties where he could have them, before he declared anything. Donghyuck and Jeno had been respecting that, in their own way.

“Sorry, Jaemin-ah,” says Renjun, laying a gentle hand on Jaemin’s arm.

Jaemin smiles at him, taking Renjun’s hand in his and squeezing gently. “No need to be. Come on, Mark-hyung owes me bingsu.”

/////

“Hold on, I only bet bingsu for the winners, why are Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jeno here?”

“Don’t you love us, hyung? You’re really just gonna let us starve?” Donghyuck simpers, batting his lashes in the most obnoxious display of aegyo he’s done yet.

“I do, but—”

“Aw,” coos Renjun. “He loves us.”

“He does!” chirps Jeno. “Which means he’ll also include us in the bingsu thing. Right?”

Mark sighs, and Jaemin bites down a laugh. Jeno was too powerful, with his stupid eyesmile and puppy face. And he knew it, too, which was even worse.

They claim a table and pick out their orders, and Mark begrudgingly hands over his wallet so Chenle and Jisung can go pay. They return several moments later, two trays in hand with four sets of the dessert to share, and Mark suddenly shoots up straight in his seat. “Hold on! Hold on, hold on, hold on. How come I’m the only one paying? Jisung lost too!”

“I didn’t actually bet anything, though,” says Jisung, shrugging.

“Neither did I,” says Chenle. “Unless you count what I promised Jisung, and I do that anyway.”

Jaemin thinks back to that night, to the chicken place, and—”Yah, Chenle-yah, you—” Jaemin shakes his head, laughing breathlessly. “You’re a sneaky one, you know that?” he says, wagging a finger at him. 

Chenle grins. “Yep. Now come on, let’s eat before this melts.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @theauthorish
> 
> also i forgot to include this in the notes before but if anyones wondering i got chenles chatname from the chinese word for coca cola bc. bc its one of the few things i remember from mandarin class HAHAHA so anyway thats it


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